So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
