You're my little dorito
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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