I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize