just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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