Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Randomize
