You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
