New low: just hacked my moms facebook
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Randomize
