It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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