Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
