I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Randomize
