Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
