He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
