Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Randomize
