this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
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