i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Randomize
