I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
