He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
