drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Randomize
