I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
My penis needs a shock collar
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
The struggles of a small town man whore
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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