Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
