But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
