I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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