Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
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