And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
