It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
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