what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
