I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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