Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
