someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
