brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
