Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize