my vag is so smooth its legendary
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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