it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
There are leaves in my underwear?
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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