i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Randomize
