So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
