Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
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