I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
