My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
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