I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
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