I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Randomize
