after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
