I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Randomize
