he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
My bed smells like the plague
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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