I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
The best revenge is premature balding
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
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