Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Randomize
