it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize