The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Randomize
