the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
