wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
