my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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