Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
It's never too late to be topless.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
i believe in u and ur pee
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
