well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
