And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
