He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Randomize
