Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
