biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
