in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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