Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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