just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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