And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
