Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Randomize
