Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
