The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Randomize
