What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
