are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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